Who do you turn to?
by Rashel Jordan
Summary: Who do you turn to when your world's upside down and your next on Voldemont's list? Hr/Dr Please R


This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction I usually stick to writing original and poetry, I would love feedback on this whether it be flames or praise. No clue how long next chapter will take me it all depends on the amount of time I am allowed on the net.  
  
Disclaimer : I don't own anything but the plot but by now it's probably been done so I guess in a way I don't own that either alas.  
  
Rolling over in bed, I slowly will myself to rise. The sunrays flow through the drapes casting a golden glow on the wooden floor. The scene reminds me of my time at Hogwarts, or at least the happy times before the steady up rise of he who must not be named. I close my eyes fighting back tears, and make my way to the vanity. I sit and look at my reflection, a mere shadow of my former self. I've changed as we all did over those three years, some more than others did. The bags under my eyes, are a constant sign of my insomnia. I suppose lack of sleep is what drove me forth in my endeavors to put pen to paper, I was never the creative type but in those lonely morning hours when your all alone with yourself and nothing to do but think, I guess the spirit just overcomes you. I knew from the moment I sat down and began my story that it must be told. It's not the kind of story like that of the infamous Harry Potter, but it's mine none the less.  
  
I stand; glancing at the desk that harbors my papers strewn in every direction. I can feel the urge to write over power my need for food, the desk is willing me towards it, and I can feel it's gentle pull on the edge of my mind, it tempts me begging me to come and do what must be done. Grabbing my quill I let the memories flow, from my mind's eye a smile graces my lips at the sweet ones, while tears drop from my eyes at those that bring back the pain that is all to fresh. This is my story... the story of Hermione Granger.  
  
I glanced at the clock it was time for McGonagall and me to make our way to Hogwarts. I took up living with McGonagall during the summer between fifth and six year due to the threat on my life. The threat did not bother me much then but during sixth year it became evident what kind of danger was looming on the edges of my perfect little world, that was the year Ron had been killed. It was a gruesome act and surely the Weasley's would never fully recover. Tears flow from my eyes at the memory. Quickly I push those thoughts to the dark recesses of my mind; I hide myself behind the mask that I have grown so accustomed to. Knowing thoughts of Ron would lead to thoughts of Harry. He took Ron's death worse than I did. He thought it was his fault, and in a way he was right Ron's death came at the hands of Voldemort, a way to make Harry miserable since he couldn't bring death upon him. The day I was told about Ron and Voldemort's true motive was the day I knew I was next.  
  
I spent all my time in the library after Ron's death. It became my solitude. The one place where pain and death didn't rear its head except in the dusty books that lined the walls. I studied to the point where that if I had the desire I could have taught the classes myself. I had nothing left. I even lost Harry the only time we spoke was during the daily meals. Looking back I can't decide if it was Harry or me that had caused the rift that separated us as if we were night and day. I didn't know and really didn't want to think about it. When sixth year ended I left Hogwarts minus all friends, with the added bonus of fearing for my life. What a year huh?  
  
I was brought back from my thoughts by the voice of McGonagall calling me from below. "Hermione, dear it's time to go"  
  
"I'm coming" grabbing my cloak and looking around the room I had grown to love over the last two summers. Walking down the stairs I felt a pang of sadness, knowing this was the last time I would walk down those stairs.  
  
I walked out and was greeted by the site of McGonagall rushing to get her and my trunks into the carriage, awaiting to whisk us away, to Hogwarts as quickly as possible. No one wanted to give Voldemort a chance to get me although I knew he would find me alone at some point and do what he always wanted to; he would finally destroy Harry Potter. Pushing the thoughts of my own death from my mind, I tried to focus on the journey ahead.  
  
This being my last year, I would be head girl I had no doubt about that. I had worked so hard to achieve that goal yet when I received the letter informing me of my great success, I could barley get a smile to cross my lips. Instead I felt a great feeling of foreboding hanging in the air, an image flashed through my mind Voldemort standing before me pointing his wand directly at me. The image left, as quickly as it appeared and although I never put much stock into divination I knew then that I would die before my graduation.  
  
The journey to Hogwarts took less time than expected, and I found myself stepping out of the carriage looking over all the students I had grown up with knowing most of them would not make it through the war ahead. I swept passed them, although I knew many I hadn't spoken to anyone more than needed since Ron's death.  
  
Walking into the great hall I looked to the ceiling and remembered the first time I walked in as a tawny little first year, hoping I would be put into the same house as Ron and Harry. I made my way through the rooms smiling at those that decided to wave or look my way. Taking my normal seat one, that's companions should hold Ron and Harry, yet sadly didn't anymore. In moments the room was filled with new students awaiting the sorting. Doing my duty as a good little Gryffindor I clapped my hands when new students were sorted to my house. Harry slipped in and took the seat next to me just as a girl was sorted to Slytherin.  
  
"Yet another young one to join the ranks of the death eaters" I murmured. Harry looked up and nodded.  
  
"How have you been?" Harry said the words as though the walls that separated us were nonexistent in his little world.  
  
"I'm fine, and you?" I stated trying not to throw all the pain I felt into the statement. How dare he act as if nothing was wrong?  
  
"Good" a silence fell between us, neither knowing what to do to lift the uneasy feeling that had settled between us.  
  
Salvation from the unending silence came at the hands of McGonagall "Mrs. Granger would you come with me so that I may show you your room." I nodded giving a final glance to Harry, his face was the same as always sad, and drawn, he looked as though he should be in Saint Mungo's hospital for Mental Madness.  
  
I quickly caught up to McGonagall. Following the professor down many corridors and countless staircases. After I thought I would pass out from more walking, we stopped; I was standing in front of a magnificent painting. The lovely picture held two figures standing under the moon gazing out over what seemed to be the lake located on the Hogwarts grounds.  
  
"This is the portrait hole to your common room; you will share it with this year's Head Boy" at this I had to interrupt. "Excuse me Professor who is this year's Head Boy?"  
  
McGonagall looked at me with a perplexed look "I thought you already knew Ms. Granger, but oh well this year's Head Boy is Draco Malfoy."  
  
"And you expect us to share a common room, without World War 3 ensuing! You and Dumbledore both know well that Draco hates all those who are not pure blooded."  
  
"Yes Ms. Granger it is well known he is not accepting of those who are muggle born, but this is a tradition the school has upheld for ages. We feel as though you two should be mature enough to handle sharing a common room, and set a good example for other houses."  
  
I was shocked to say the least deciding better to just agree I mumbled "Yes.ma'ma. What's the password?"  
  
"That is for you and Mr. Malfoy to decided he will be here shortly, but I must go back to the hall and help the prefects with the first years." With that said McGonagall left me standing in the hallway, looking around my surroundings I studied the other portraits one of a man with blonde hair intrigued me, he wore Slytherin colors but was very handsome. Moving closer to take a better look, I noticed he looked like someone familiar, before I could decided who the man reminded me of I heard the snake like drawl of Malfoy.  
  
"Granger" "Malfoy" I stated without an ounce of feeling. Annoyed that I reacted this was Draco shot an insult my way. "So I see the little mudblood, finally read the one book she overlooked for all these year's "Lockhart's guide to perfect hair." I glared daggers at the ferret that stood before me; the only thought flowing through my mind was I'd be damned if this bastard gets one up on me. "Yes-wonderful book indeed, I do suggest you give it a read, as well.... You'll soon find out that the look you've been sporting all these years went out of style during first year."  
  
"Why you little bitch, you don't speak to a Malfoy that way I should kill you now." The look on Malfoy's face was classic, he was shocked to know that I would not put up with his shit this year, and I think he knew deep down I wished I was dead so his meaningless threats had no effect on me.  
  
"Right, right go ahead kill me, but I haven't got the time for your bullshit so can we come up with a password."  
  
"Fine, I suggest die you mudblood whore"  
  
"Hmm, as much as that appeals to me, I don't think so, perhaps it could be go to hell you flying ferret" sarcasm dripping from my words.  
  
"Je te déteste." Malfoy stated.  
  
I have to hold back my laugh at this one obviously the idiot doesn't know I too speak French. "Sounds like a great idea for a password to me as well."  
  
"Fine, fine lets just get this over with I have far better things to do than stand around talking to your know it all ass."  
  
Looking at the painting I see that the young man and woman in the painting have turned their attention onto our bickering "Hi my name is Hermione, and this is Malfoy" I said pointing to the disgusting excuse for space.  
  
"Are you our Head's this year?" The young woman asked.  
  
"Yes we are we would like our password to be Je te déteste." I said glaring at Malfoy.  
  
"What a nasty password. Oh well, it's not my job to judge just to guard your rooms." And with that she swung the portrait open to reveal a magnificent common room, far better than the one I was used to.  
  
The room had two massive bookshelves already lined with many books for all taste. The common room was split down the middle with Gryffindor colors on my side and Slytherin colors on Malfoy's we both had large sofas and beautiful desks my old common room was far less impressive. I studied the bookshelf and noticed that mine had many muggle and wizard novels that I had enjoyed over the years, looks like Dumbledore did his homework I thought to myself. I made my way over to Malfoy's bookshelf and was astonished to see a few muggle novels among many wizard novels; I never expected that to say the least.  
  
I looked around to see were the nasty little ferret had wandered off to only to see he was in his room with the door shut. I had to thank my lucky stars on that one, he really wears on my nerves, all the smirk's and name calling get old after about oh say five minutes. I made my way to my room only to find that beautiful was an understatement this room was twice as big as my old prefect room. It had a giant bed, that looked as though it were fit for a queen, I had another large desk in the room and drapes that hung around the four poster bed made it look like it was right out of a fairy tale.  
  
Laying on the bed I started to think about all the things that had happened over my years here at Hogwarts. It's weird when I think about it, I only have this year and I will be a full witch and out on my own, well that is if I make it threw this year, and living with that insufferable, death eater Malfoy wasn't making matters any better. I would surely be dead by the end of the year living with him if not from a fight with him, he would turn me over to Voldemort just so he could get in his good graces.  
  
My mind wandered over thoughts of Malfoy and turning me into Voldemort for hours that night. I knew I had classes in the morning and should be asleep, so I could keep up my perfect scores but I was truly scared. I don't want to die you see I just don't see the point in living anymore, it's that simple. My friends are gone, without Harry and Ron, who am I? Who is Hermione without her two loyal protectors? I am nothing without them besides a know it all who can't take care of herself. Tears flowed from my eyes that night, I couldn't contain them any longer. I guess you could say I needed a good cry. After that night I didn't cry again for a very long time.  
  
A/N : So that is the first chapter in Who do you turn to. Je te déteste means I hate you in French. Review me please I dont really care if it's one line I just want to know what someone thinks! Thanks for reading! 


End file.
